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Oh the memories..."It still shines for me"

"I don't want to DO something to you. I just want to BE something for you."

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Roger Thorpe is legendary love

by anabanana0714

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While living in 19th century France, Ana pulled herself up from nothingness and became a singing and dancing prostitute at the Moulin Rouge, where she fell in love with a penniless writer who could sing like a badass mofo. Even though the writer told her that "the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return," Ana wanted more out of life and decided that she wanted to become A REAL ACTRESS, so she packed up her corset and random outburts of song and moved to 20th century Los Angeles, where she fell in love with a brilliant yet totally diabolical young doctor. He proposed to her one night in the car while driving shitfaced drunk and rolled the car into an embankment, supposedly killing Ana. After she awoke from her coma, Ana returned to Los Angeles and ripped off all of her hair to reveal a hellacious scar after a night of wild sex with her charming asshole doctor husband. After she looked in the mirror and realized that she was crazy, she ran over her husband and framed both of his ex-wives for the crime and then blew up his apartment complex. The bombing caused her to develop multiple personalities, one of which was a Tupperware obsessed housewife. Content in her newfound housewifery, Ana decided to pack up and move to the suburbs, where she attended a meeting of the Young Republicans and met and later married another charming, bitterly sarcastic doctor, whom she later discovered to be a crying ejaculator who likes to be dominated. After having her world shattered and her heart broken by her beloved husband's premature and totally unnecessary death, Ana moved to Washington DC and decided to explore the medical field. After completing and becoming disillusioned by the ungodly 12 years of school required of a doctor, she decided to join the FBI, where she was partnered with a brooding and comely agent who was obsessed with a theory that aliens abducted his 8-year-old sister. After 7 years of unresolved sexual tension, Ana and the agent finally got down, resulting in her becoming impregnated with an alien-human hybrid experiment sponsored by the US government. After it was discovered that her baby could telepathically levitate random nursery objects, she gave her son up for adoption and paid a visit to a man who smoked too many cigarettes, who told her that the aliens would colonize the earth on December 22, 2012. Satisfied with her knowledge of the impending apocalypse, Ana left the FBI and now once again makes her home in Los Angeles, where she is surrounded by a bunch of other big fat liars.

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